get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
