ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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