I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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