please come you make the beer taste better
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
