So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
