i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
