i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
well you can't waste a boner
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
