"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
