I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
