you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
