we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
