you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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