I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
