Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
