just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
