After last night, I could never be a politician.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
