You really coming over, don't trick.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
