btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize