I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize