Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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