Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
