Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
