..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
