Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
