Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
honey bunches of taint.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
