if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
