I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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