she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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