Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
