there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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