she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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