so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
