ya dads aren't the best wingmen
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
