They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This is the high leading the old right now
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
