i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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