it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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