Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
