you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I deserve this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize