Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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