i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
