Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
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Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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