Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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