we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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