that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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