You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
