brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
