I wish i was in the wii world.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
