I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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