How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
