i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
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