yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
