I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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