maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
