she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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