I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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