addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
