PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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