idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize