So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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