break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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