VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
