Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
