I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I miss vodka workout Fridays
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize