New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
