Me. At least after what I've been through.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
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Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
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He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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